Life, Obsessions, Sex, Sin, and Love

Be ready for a very long and slightly disconnected, incoherent rambling session.

First of all, a quick update on where life currently finds me:
Shockingly, I think I'm currently more content and satisfied in my life, than I have been for quite some time. I've been doing a lot of soul searching and self exploration, and that tends to leave me feeling pretty damned good. Basically I've done another inventory of my beliefs and values, and decided if I still consider them valid. I've changed my opinions on some things a little bit. What's funny, is that this Created and Called for the Community class has really helped me out. And here I thought it'd be a waste of my time! At some point in the near future, I promise I'll post some pictures of my creation project and my "artist's statement" about it. Basically I came to the conclusion that despite the fact that I think it just isn't humanly possible for any of us to ever fully comprehend anything about the power or love of God, and obviously we'll never know how He created the universe, we do know that He created it. He created it with love, and basically everything in this universe is one. We may view ourselves, or different groups, as being singular units, but we aren't. The whole of God's creation, is greater than the sum of it's parts. I've also come to some interesting conclusions about the nature of sin, but I'll get into that later. I'm still loving all of my classes, except for Spanish. Self Defence is great! It's got me wanting to take a Martial Arts class over the summer. It's also motivated me to start working out again. Yesterday I ran 1.5 miles, and today I did a little strength training. Also, due to my creation project, my creative side as been reawakened. There are so many projects I suddenly fell like diving into!!! So yeah, I've been pretty happy lately. My social life has been a little lacking lately, still mostly due to Kaelee leaving me. Oh, and Melissa joined the Army Reserves. I'll hold off on posting my opinion of that. It makes me sad though.

On the subject of Obsessions:
I picked this up from the wonderful Jessica Jenning's blog. It speaks to me... lol... in fact it reminds me of a conversation I had with Melissa not too utterly long ago:

Ok FEELINGS time: Obviously as you can tell I'm back to being OBSESSED with a dumb "boy". I hate it, kind of. And I know I should just relax and take things as they come (ha) but I'm messed up in the head and get SOOO involved in it (and "it" doesn't even exist) and then when it comes down to actually taking action and doing something about it I don't want to and I choke and can't speak. Maybe it's like we're learning in Philosophy...I WANT something but I know when I get it it won't be what I was expecting and then I'll be disappointed. Therefore it's much more exciting to THINK about it, right? I need to stop being such a wuss, basically haha.

Basically I think Jess has us pegged. She speaks the truth. We are afraid of getting into something, just to find out that it's not at all what we had expected. Therefore we avoid commitment like the plague. But at the same time, we enjoy the thought of it, so we just obsess. We try to kill the thoughts sometimes, but it's impossible, our thought will always drift back to the current obsession, because it's just wonderful. Our relationship with the guy in our head is perfect, but we won't ever act on the feelings, because we know that perfection in a relationship is impossible. So we dream, sigh sadly, and then return to reality. I think it's the curse of the introverted individual. I'm not sure how it is for her, but I've got an exceptionally hard time opening up to people, aside from a select few, who I click with automatically. Of course I relate to her current issue so well, because I've just been through something unbelievably similar myself. *sighs and slips back into her dream world for a little*

Sinfulness and the need for a good balanced life.:
What is sin? I know the Bible gives us certain examples, but sometimes I still have to wonder. Let's look at the supposed seven deadly sins:

1. Sloth
2. Greed
3. Jealousy
4. Gluttony
5. Lust
6. Anger
7. Pride

Yes, a life filled too much with any of these is a sad one, one that is not worth living. But the same is true fore a life totally devoid of them. Can you imagine a life without an once of pride? You wouldn't have any drive to take care of yourself. Everything in life, needs to be balanced. Aggression, lust, love, pride, selfishness, etc. I swear, I'm gonna hit the next person to say "you know feeling _____ is a sin." It probably is if there is too much of it, but a little is most likely a necessity for life. So that is the current state of my spiritual side. Just don't tell my pastor.