5 Days

I've got 5 days before I return to school for my junior year. I cannot wait, since I am taking some awesome classes this time around: The Biological Basis of Behavior, Life Span Development, Counseling Theories, Personality, and Spanish 3 (the only one I'm not looking forward to). Plus, I've got my super sweet little apartment to look forward to too. I'm so excited about actually having a kitchen. Then, there are also the obvious perks about heading back to school, like seeing all of my out-of-state buddies again.

This summer hasn't been so bad, however, it was rather uneventful. Last week I went down south to visit my cousin Michelle and her babies. Those are some seriously beautiful children. And I give Michelle so much credit for taking such great care of Jahonna and getting her all the different types of therapy that she needs. I've seen such improvement from her. Her boyfriend's 2 year old son is trip too. I was there for about 15 minutes before the kid looked at me, smiled, and said "I love you Miss Jenny!" He repeated that several more times before I left. He's such a little cutie.

So that whole trip had me feeling all happy. Then something kind of odd and unexpected happened upon my return. I ran over to the grocery store to pick a few items up for my mother, and a good friend of mine from high school was there, talking to her older sister (the older sister is a cashier there). Anyhow, she looked over at me when I walked in, and then quickly turned her head in the opposite direction. I walked by her, and she would not make eye contact with me. Finally, when I went to pay, she was sort of forced to look at me, so she said "hey" quick, and then turned away again, and would talk to me again. Needless to say, I am a little bit hurt and confused over this. I have done nothing to this girl. We've talked a few times since graduation, and she'll be the one to mention getting together sometime, but then she'll always cancel on me at the last minute. If you don't want to have contact with me anymore, just say so and give me a decent reason why. Don't go all fake on me like that.

It's sad really. It reminds me of how Melissa and I sat there during Erin's graduation party. Everyone was having a blast, and Melissa said to me "So, right now these are all the people we'd consider our good friends. How many of them do you think we'll be talking to a year from now? And how many of them do you think we'll consider our friends when we graduate from college? Personally, I think a year from now, I'll still talk to you, and maybe one or two of the others. By the time we graduate, it'll be down to just you though." I was stunned by that. It was kind of a dark and depressing thought, for such a happy and festive occasion. I mean, honestly, we're sitting there drinking pina colada flavored colas wear at least 5 lies a piece with the little umbrellas from our non-alcoholic drinks in our hair. But I sat there and thought about, and came to the same conclusion that she did. In a year, I figured I'd still had Melissa, Jessica E., Jessica J., and possibly Sarah and Kim. By graduation I still hoped to Have those first three too. Sarah I never heard from again. Kim I still talk to on IM occasionally. Jessica E. though, well, read the last paragraph. So it's down to Jessie J. and Mel. Jess and I talk less and less as the time goes on, I've noticed. So, I hate to say it, but it looks like Melissa's conclusion was correct. By graduation, of all the buddies I had in high school, she'll be the only one left. Along with Lea of course, but she's family and in a different category.

Almost Done, Thank the Lord!

I just finished my Created and Called final. I also had my Psychological Science and Technology final today too. So, out of my five classes, I'm now finished with three of my finals, having taken my Self Defense final on Monday. I know I passed the Self Defence final, and I know I got an A on my Psych final as well. I'm not so sure about my Created and Called final though. I even sold half of my books back this morning getting enough cash from them to fill up my gas tank for the return home. Tomorrow I've got my Statistics final, which is not only multiple choice, but it's also open book. Thus, I'm not at all worried about it. Also, I get paid tomorrow, making it an excellent day for me. I'll finally be able to get that shirt I want. Actually I think I might get some new work out clothes instead, I need to look cute when I go to the rec to work out. This weekend I need to finish up my packing, and by bedtime on Sunday I hope to have my little Jetta completely packed except for my bedding, a change of clothes, and my computer. As soon as my Spanish final is over, I'm throwing the rest of the stuff in my car, returning my room key, and heading home. Yay! I think I'll even make my first trip to the rec Monday night already. Tuesday I've got off, and I might even go buy my paint for my bedroom a while, and then on Wednesday, I'm back at Weavers working 7-3:30 on a daily basis. Saturday, I need to come back to this lovely school for my sister's graduation, which is something I'm really not looking forward to. Then that night, after returning home, I'm off to finally see Hot Fuzz with Jennings. *sigh* This week can't go by fast enough!

On a sad note, tonight is the last Power House I'm attending this year. I do really enjoy those. It's one of the few things about this school that I'm looking forward to returning to. I haven't gone too many times, but the few times that I have gone with Theresa and Carla were very enjoyable and uplifting. As for certain issues, that you all are aware of by now, things have gotten better. There's actual verbal communication going on, which shocks me quite a bit. Either way, I'm down to four days. I am strong, and I can put up with anything for that short period of time. Though the midnight scream might get the best of me. There's nothing worse than being in bed and sleeping soundly only to be woken up by a chorus of screams that lasts for like, 15 minutes. It's kind of nuts. Also, the girl next door to me and Tiff needs to learn what "quiet hours" means. When quiet hours begin at eight, it means that talking/laughing/and playing music REALLY loud at 11pm is really not cool. Either way though, knowing how the next week and a half look for me, I can't stop smiling.

The End is Near... thus, the countdown is on!

Edited last on May 11th

1 days of finals

Spanish 2:
1 Final Exam


I shall keep this updated as the weeks progress.

I'm Losing My Mind... Part 2

Anyhow, I never got into why exactly I'm losing my mind in my last post. You see, it's just not turning out the way I want it to. It doesn't look at all like it did in my head or on my sketches. It's driving my crazy, and I think I'm starting to get a bit of a headache. I think the real problem I have though, is not the fact that it doesn't look quite right, I think it lies in my attitude towards the project as well as creation.

As stated in my last post, I've learned to question these beliefs I've blindly accepted all my life. This includes my beliefs about creation. I was raised to believe in the literal 6-day creation. I'm not a believer in that any more. There are two creation accounts in Genesis, which do not match up. So clearly, you can't believe that the entire Bible is to be taken literally from start to finish. Some of it must be figurative, which parts are which, no one can tell. I do believe that we were created, how we were created though, I can't even begin to guess. Maybe evolution was used, maybe it wasn't. I do not understand why people make such a big fuss about it. There are several areas in our religion where questions can be raised and the only real answer you can give is a basic "I just don't know". You can feel one way or another, but to get all irate when questioned just doesn't make sense. The giant Creation vs. Evolution war going on between the church and the school boards, is something that I am very much against. I like the way our country was founded on the principle of separation of church and state. Religious freedom is something I support. Unfortunately though, Christianity has resorted to telling children that the church's way, is the only way, and that if they try to think for themselves, and question these things, they'll be on the fast track to Hell.

So obviously I've got a huge issue with being forced to do this project. We read articles in class about how different people have interpreted the creation accounts, all of which take a more literal look at them, and condemn anyone who views it differently. Worst of all, this class isn't even an elective, it's a requirement. We have to journal our reactions to the readings, and hand them in to be graded. So far, since these professors have different views, they believe that since I disagree with the authors, I must not fully understand the what the author was trying to say. Therefore, points are taken off of my grade. So I'm trying to find a way to compromise with this damned project. I want a good grade, yet I also don't want to sell out, and do this project in a fashion that will please the prof, yet deny my own beliefs. I'm trying to find a way to strike up a good balance.

I'm Losing My Mind...

slowly but surely, sometimes I can't help but wonder. My creativity seems to have left me. Needless to say, this doesn't exactly thrill me. I'm attempting to make a bracelet for my Creation Project, for my Created and Called class. My God I hate that class. I've gone through my beading boxes and removed everything I think I might be able to use to represent creation. So far I've got:

6 Tiny Seashells with holes drilled in them
3 Small round mother of pearl disks
2 Sky blue round crystals
8 Sapphire bicone crystals
10 Peridot bicone crystals
7 Pressed glass flowers in lilac, white, and blue
10 Pressed glass leaves in lilac, white, and blue
6 carved amethyst hearts
11 Fluorite chips(mostly green and white)
12 Topaz colored faceted disks
15 round lavender jade beads
Some of my headpins are store bought, some gold and some silver
Some of my headpins are home made using wire and seed beads
I'm even thinking of making the chain on my own
I might even make the clasp too

Different aspects of these objects represent different things:

First of all, I'm trying to make everything on my own. It will obviously be my own little act of creation, done as much as possible with my own two hands. The home made aspects represent God's direct work, like the natural world. The parts that I have bought, namely the sterling silver and gold headpins, represent human kind, and their work. We have mined out those metals and have refined them, and made them into the form of a headpin; however, they still indirectly come from God, we honestly can't take any credit.

Next, what the object itself is, represents different things. The seashells and mother of pearl disks represent life. As we all know, little creatures called mollusks once made their homes inside of there. The fluorite chips represent the earth and the variety of color it can has also represents the great variety of just about anything you can find in nature, whether you are looking at gems, plants, or even animals. Also the naturalistic form they are in, simple chips, shows how beautiful God's creation can be without humankind's interference. The jade and the amethyst represent most of the same things the fluorite does, however, they've been carved into shapes by humans, so they also represent humankind and their effect of the earth. The leaves and the flowers also shows human kind and their effect, as well as representing the love we should have for our natural world, by the shapes they possess. The crystals also represent humans in the fact that they are faceted to enhance the natural beauty they already possess.

Finally, the colors of these objects represent different things as well. There are a lot of blues, greens, and neutrals. The neutrals clearly clearly represent the earth. It's sturdy and strong. The blues represent the sky and the water. It flows, it changes, change is good. The green, well green represents life in general. It's spring, the rebirth of life, and growth. These three aspects of life, are things I consider very important. If you have God, you have something sturdy, in life, that you can rely on no matter what. God is like, the solid ground beneath your feet, there to catch you if you fall. Change is something that we just don't embrace in this world. It's all right to question, challenge, and change your beliefs. It's only through this change that you can grow in your faith. If you blindly swallow what your pastor force feeds you, in all honesty, it is meaningless. You need to think about these things, question them, maybe even reinterpret them. Being willing to admit that you might have been wrong about your former beliefs shows incredible growth and maturity in your faith.

Excitement

Yay, happy day! It's Wednesday and I've been looking forward to this day. First off, we are having just simple work days in both of my classes, so no super hard work there. Though I do have a lot of studying to do for my Cognition class tomorrow, not to mention the fact that I need to catch up on my assignments. I also need to finish up my windmills for the "Deck the Halls" competition. I'm not working tonight though, so I have all evening to take care of that. Also, my mother and my older sister are coming to visit me some time today. My sis needs to drain her flex account, hopefully she spends a bit of it buying me a decent lunch. My mother should be bringing some home made candy with her too.... mmmm. Later tonight, 10pm I believe it is, the MythBusters Christmas Special is on. Yes, I know my excitement over that is sad and pathetic; however, there are worse shows I could be addicted to, like: Grey's Anatomy, South Park, anything on MTV, Everybody Loves Raymond, ect. My show is at least a little educational. So yeah, my main issue today will be hunkering down and getting everything for Cognition finished, but I should be fairly motivated today due to the need to be finished by 10. Anyhow, I'm off to breakfast now...

Back to School

Well... I'm almost ready to go. I need to buy a few very small item yet this week, and then next week I'm off. It is about time. I'm really getting sick of the same old routine, and if I have to train another newbie at work I just might snap and hurt somebody. I need a change of scenery, and people. I've finally come to the conclusion that there aren't any decent guys in this town. Just a little over a week to go, I'm counting down the days.

Finals

Oh happiness... my winter break is almost here. This past week I've taken two of my finals. Those were my finals in English and speech. I've aced both of them. That leave three tests for this next week. I have my history final on Tuesday, my psych final on Wednesday, and my sociology final on Thursday. For both soc and psych there is very little pressure. As long as I get a C on them, I'm guaranteed an A in the class. However, I'm pretty sure that I'll still ace them. My history final is a bit different. I've got a 90% right now in the class. This final could make or break me. I really want a 4.0 GPA and I'm also really hoping to make the deans list.